"I just don't want to feel anything."

"Feeling scares me."

"If I slow downwards, it might all catch up to me."

"If I start feeling, I'1000 agape I will never terminate."

"If I proceed myself busy enough, then I don't have to remember about it."

I cannot tell you how many times I take sat with individuals over the years and heard statements with similar sentiment. Even if people do non say it, retrieve virtually how many people you know (including yourself) who accept tried to occupy or distract their minds to cope with various levels of stress.

Your attempts to cope probably didn't start with the intent of numbing everything. Initially, your brain was just trying to find relief. Maybe you started with exercise to keep yourself physically healthy, and your brain quickly figured out that exercise helped you lot feel better emotionally also. Maybe you threw yourself fully into your work to distract yourself from what was going on at habitation. "But keep yourself decorated so you only take fourth dimension to sleep," y'all would tell yourself. Or maybe it was a half-gallon of ice cream. That sweet, creamy flavour made everything feel a picayune better momentarily. Maybe information technology started with one drink to "have the edge off." Or perchance you learned that when you caused yourself physical damage, you felt a bit of emotional relief, as your body would have no other choice other than to focus on responding to the place of harm.

Many times, feeling better meant distress, anxiety, sadness, fearfulness, discomfort, insecurity or anger lessened, at least temporarily. Once our brains realized that introducing behaviors that numbed our feelings and released pleasure chemicals in our brains helped us navigate our short-term distress, they were willing to get to extremes to make that relief happen, especially if we were not aware of or did not have admission to other resource to assistance us feel ameliorate. This is true even if our attempts to numb rationally had the likelihood of being harmful to usa in the long term, which helps united states of america better understand how people develop coping responses through seemingly harmful behaviors like addictions, eating disorders, and cocky-harming.

Eventually, when the sorry feelings came back, equally they inevitably do when we aren't processing through the situations or events that are contributing to their presence in the get-go place, your brain was fifty-fifty more determined to brand the distress go abroad again. Each fourth dimension the feelings returned, they were more intense than the terminal fourth dimension. And the more you implemented these numbing coping strategies, the less constructive your efforts became, which meant it took more restriction, exercise, working, distraction, substances, binging, purging, gambling, sex, and/or cocky-harming to achieve relief. The more driven your mind was to accomplish that relief, the more than it pursued those behaviors regardless of the toll to your personal life, family unit life, or work life. What you initially used to try to assert some sense of control eventually may accept started decision-making you.

For most people who attempt to cope through numbing (consciously or subconsciously), you have spent so long attempting to push button everything down or away to get through your everyday lives that the prospect of feeling is scary. Just every bit Dr. Brene Brown reminds usa, "You lot cannot selectively numb emotions. When nosotros numb [hard feelings like sadness, grief, feet, confusion, helplessness, and fear], we numb joy. We numb gratitude. We numb happiness."

Since living numb is not really living at all, since information technology is absolutely exhausting trying to outrun feelings all the fourth dimension, and since what y'all have used to numb thus far has not proven to be effective long-term (and may have created additional issues), I have a proposition for you:As helpful as those behaviors may have been to help you survive a really challenging time, mayhap you lot don't need them anymore.

I know it sounds terrifying to even call up about the possibility of living without your numbing behaviors. But what if I could assure you lot that in that location are other ways to process through what has happened so that your encephalon can re-found feelings of safety and doesn't experience as distressed every bit often? What if you could learn how to pay attention to your trunk so you could implement coping skills before you got overwhelmed? What if there were other ways to cope that wouldn't cause your body further damage or limit your ability to experience joy? What if you could gain some control dorsum over your life? And what if your life doesn't have to revolve around escaping?

If all those things were possible, would it be worth trying something different?

Your encephalon fabricated the best pick it could to help you survive given the noesis and resource information technology had in the moment, but there are other means to cope that do not require giving up our ability to feel joy, love, gratitude, and happiness. I know for some of you reading this, it has been a very long fourth dimension since you accept felt any of those things, just I promise you lot it is possible. No matter what yous have experienced that may be contributing to your brain's want to numb or what you have used to numb, there are therapeutic ways to assistance your encephalon and your body process the situations and events that are contributing to your distress. It is not going to be easy, merely you do non have to navigate whatever of this alone. There are people who want to walk through this with you lot and can assistance.

At Water'south Edge Counseling and Healing Center, nosotros partner with clients to identify means to allow each person's brain and body infinite to heal through body-based processing therapies like Sensorimotor and Eye Motility Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy. In add-on to individual therapy, we offer grouping therapy for individuals struggling with eating disorders, trauma, anxiety disorders, and mood disorders. Because we know that healing involves listen, torso, and spirit, our team also includes dietitians, healthcare providers, recreational therapists, and a chaplain as helpful for each customer'south healing journey.